... to... argh, what the?.. [sounds of fighting and blades clinging.]

Whew, that was close. A ton of ninjas just attacked me, I barely managed to dart their nunchakus. I'm sure they will be back, so I will make this quick. 

This is the account of the white ninja on the Day of the Ninja. 

It was a glorious day. The white ninja was back in full glory, even more deadly than before. The day was an average white ninja kind of day. I went to work at Leonard's Metal like usual. But the squeeze was not working so I threw it across the work center and flipped onto the lunch table and began chopping it to bits. When my fury had subsided, I finished cleaning some parts and threw them into the oven only to discover there was a black ninja in the oven, poised to attack. He jumped out and flipped onto my work table. We jumped and flipped all over the plant, leaving a trail of destruction. I chased him out of the plant and realized I was late for class. 

I hurried to my car, but found my lock jammed. So I cut off the roof of my car and hopped in. As I drove down the road I saw two black ninjas flipping through the city streets beside my car. I swerved off the road and jumped out. I threw some throwing stars at my enemies, a ran after them. I may have killed a few galkers in my fury; I really don't keep track of that kind of frivolous information. 

I finally arrived at class, but I knew they would be back. I kept one eye on the teacher and one eye on the door. During break, I started toward the vending machine when suddenly my teacher wiped out some nunchakus. She was the ring leader! I knew it! I braced myself and drew my sword. I chopped up all her precious graphing calculators and papers. The overhead projector is now in four parts. I don't think I will be seeing some of my classmates anymore. They all ran out of the room screaming and weeping in terror. One by one, her black ninjas were no more. The math building is littered with their bodies.  I finally escaped after pulling the projector screen down on my teacher/ninja. 

I raced out to my new topless car. I only made a few stops on the way home to do some damage. I blew up a gas station, left Safeway in ruins, and turned the library upside down. I arrived home with out any more attacks. Now all I wanted was to eat a piece of crumb cake. But then just when I was about to cut out a piece...

So yeah, I had a busy day. I will have to tell you the rest when I feel like, right now I feel like cutting something up...